I like calling homemade cranberry sauce ‘relish’ because it allows me a particular set of expectations. Firstly, it will not be jellied, or from a can (in spite of that variety being a sugary guilty pleasure of mine). Second, it will have a nice shredded consistency that reminds one it started as fruit. Third, it suggests I will deeply enjoy (read: relish) it, and I do hate to love a pun.
The peculiar thing about my love for calling it relish, though, is my utter dislike for its conventional counterpart, plain-old-put-it-on-your-hot-dog relish. Love pickles. Hate relish. It’s too sweet, and not pickley enough.
In 7th grade science class, our teacher liked to make us care by applying science to food. I don’t recall exactly how cranberry relish tied into our lesson plan, but I do remember I was the only one who liked it, and I was certainly the only one who begged her mother to go to the store for fresh cranberries so I could make it again for my family. It’s been that way ever since; the only time I indulge in the canned beast is at someone else’s holiday (and I do so with gusto).
Few variations have taken place since then, one being I prepare it in a slow-cooker now to free up stove space during busy holidays, because this is a thing that benefits from long simmering anyway. Sometimes I get a little crazy about throwing in miscellaneous ingredients, but I’ll spare you that adventure. The point is if you like tart fruits, this shit is a gold mine. It’s the perfect counterpoint to the savory stuffings, sweet potatoes, buttery rolls, creamy mashed potatoes, and whatever the hell you’ve been drinking to survive another holiday with your family (Gin? Check.)
Is there anything prettier in the world?
Cranberry Relish Makes approx 5 cups
You will need:
- (2) 12oz bags of fresh cranberries
- 1 lime
- 1 tangerine (or clementines, or a sweet citrus)
- 3/4c warm water
- 1/4c honey
Empty your berries into a large bowl or pot with some cool water. The majority should float. Swish them around to make sure they are rinsed free of dirt and debris. While you’re doing this, stay alert for stems to remove, and for berries that look damaged or rotten; a healthy cranberry can vary in color as seen above, but should be firm and smooth. If it looks brownish or has soft spots, discard it.
Transfer the berries from your rinse water to your slow-cooker and add a little less than a cup of water (Your needs may vary; my lid doesn’t fit properly so I add more liquid in anticipation of evaporation), enough to coat the bottom of your pot. Squeeze in the juice of one lime. Don’t throw lime wedges in unless you intend to be very vigilant about removing them later on; I thought I’d be cute with my first attempt at Pumpkin Applesauce and put lemon wedges in there, and got a big mouthful of soft lemon rind that lingered in my mouth for hours.
Peel your tangerine. You’ll want to get the seeds out of there for your own sanity, and here’s what I’ve found is the easiest way to get it all done in a hurry:
Curse you, seeds.
Divide your peeled fruit in half. Using a butter knife, paring knife, or something else with a small manageable blade, insert it into the middle of the fruit and cut upward toward the center of the wedges. If you leave the rounded back intact your fruit will flop open as above, like one of those little grade-school fortune tellers. Squeeze gently from the corners toward the cut and you should be able to work all the seeds out without sacrificing much in the way of juice or time.
Cut the fruit into small pieces and throw it into your cooker. Bonus points: Peel each individual segment and only include the actual orange meat, thus wasting all the time you just saved with the seeds.
With your fruit included, drizzle honey over the whole thing and set your cooker on Low for 7 hours. After awhile the cranberries will begin to burst open with cute little pops and hisses of resignation. You may also see a whitish froth floating on top (though I notice this more in stovetop preparation), and this is fine; you can stir it back in or skim it off in accordance with your preference.
Toward the end you’ll want to taste it and see if the sweet-to-tart ratio pleases you. If yes, congratulations! If no, adjust accordingly by adding more honey (sugar at this point will probably just make it grainy), or some lemon juice if it’s too sweet.
Finale Cranberry Sauce in Cobalt (Photo credit: cobalt123)
Other people’s variants:
- Thanksgiving 2012: Cherry-Lemon Relish (thebittenword.com)
- Fresh Cranberry Relish for your Thanksgiving Feast! (fork-lore.com)
Cassandra Panek
You Food is Not So Great 